new stuff made up on the spot!

waiting all day
for your face to appear
the cool calm of your voice
fills my head
and i'm taken to greater heights
having fun for the first time
in months
no worry
no care
feeling
the old pass
new will reign in

-------------------------------

put it down
walk away
it's not life
it's not in
bigger things
are calling
lord
music
lord
lost people
better
things
than picking up
a pipe and letting go

--------------------------

let off the carb
pull it in
eyes redden
body heavy
mind askew
filling the empty void
with white wind
filling the void with
anything
but him

--------------------------

hurt comes
hurt goes
hurt is
hurt
never different
never the same
let it go
its not worth
sleepless nights
hurt bellies
and
worthless days

your life is flourishing
and im no where
to be found
im left behind
you
an emergent woman
me
a man who can't figure out how to control himself
or how to say the right thing at any time
or to stay connected to a being i cant see
and can only feel when i really really need it
all i want is to be in love and
loved
by the woman
who changed my life
but is only putting out her arms
to cut me
up
and leave me dry
because i lost control of
this vehicle called a body
im regaining conscience
and running back to the beginning
so please tell me you still love me
i'm gluing the plate back together
like a child
that has broke his mothers favorite
dish
she still loves
can you?
or is this conditional
and if it is, why in the first place?
i loved you from the beginning
until the end
i just needed to work things
I AM NOT MALICIOUS
only confused
with this vast space called life
and what i need to do
to turn this hay and stubble
to precious stones
modern day alchemy

This




Separation





is






killing me





to run






in to





your arms







would be











oh







so







great

--------------------------------------

the distance between us
is the shortest its been
in a while
but why do i feel
so
far
away?
reaching
for you
trying
to
get back
to what we once were

it's been a year
and in that year
what was said
and what was done
was true
but the train
has come to a stop
to repair the tracks
that will so
lovingly
be fixed

--------------------------------------

it's my birthday to day
and
still
im sad
still
im burdened
still
have the same problem
still
need the love im missing every second
still
waiting for the clock to tick enough times
to make
this life real to me again

lots and lots of new!!

Following the trend
of controled fire
in my hand
and
arsinic
in my lungs
giving in to boredom
water drips on my head
i drop it in a puddle
saying
"I quit"
until
boredom
sets
in
again

------------------------------------

Tears
and hair
fill my vision
the knowlege
of my failures
in her presence
broke me down
change takes place
to start the rest of my
life
hug her
until there is nothing left
to hug
my love has increased for her
I WANT TO BE BETTER
for her, my love
the only one left
worth loving

-----------------------------------

mistakes
ups and downs
they persist
I
want to
give it
up
but what will
happen?
I'm
just a little
boy
afraid
of the future
and
whats going to happen next

------------------------------------

Tapping
on
cut
brakes
the lights
still iluminate
yet you
didn't
know
im still
hiding
my
uncontrolable
escape

---------------------------------------

uncontrolable
weeping
fills the phone
the idea
of the end
is more than
i can take
but
i will be strong
for you
so you will
come back to
me
and fill me with love
i so
greatly
miss

--------------------------------

You're stuck in my castle
and all i do is piss you off
you're my beauty
and i'm your beast
finding love
in your life
but my rose
is falling apart
so i need
to do all i can
to keep you near
so that i don't
stay
this beast
i
have
become

--------------------------------------------

Regular conversation
makes me miss
what we had
makes me
want
to change
to be what we
want
to make this life
worth living
once again

----------------------------------------------

Four days gone
makes this
ten total
being cleaved
from you
hurts so
deep
like the ocean
i am the
tide
i keep coming back

----------------------------------------------------

I am
alone
i am
a mistake
i want your love
can you give it?
what has changed?
i am the same
still wanting you
my chest hurts
i want to change
and show you what
i can do

-----------------------------------------

i already sleep
on one side
of this bed
ready for
the position 
to be filled
sleeping
in the middle
feels so wrong
this separation 
is so wrong
there is a wedge
between us
and it's still
being driven in
either this wooden love
is gunna split
or we will salvage
it to make
a beautiful
work
of art

Remember the times
on your porch
just wasting time
with each other
where has it gone?
our hearts are disappearing
McFly i have a solo
to bring it back
full hearts
full love
happiness
again

-----------------------------------------------

this separation
scares me
time not spent
you're in the presence
of other men
i've hurt you
but please don't hurt
in the same way
my feelings are genuine
this love i feel
is real
is what i want
lets expidite
this
and
fall in to
the arms
of
eternity
together

i miss you
i miss your freckles
and your perfect teeth
i miss your mismatched socks
and your perfect body
i miss your laugh
and your big heart
i want to fill you
i want you to fill me
i still struggle
but i want to struggle with you
and
push forward
to the summit
of our love

-----------------------------------

i want this to end
so it can begin
time is stretching
when it needs to
constrict
like my chest
full of
worries
and regrets

two poems

Seeing you
after
two
weeks
feels so good
my heart is warm
not knowing what
to say
making
faces
to pass
the time
embracing
after this long
makes me feel
whole
you smell just
as i remember
you're more
beautiful
than the last
but this is over
before i wanted it
to be
because
obligations come
to take me away

------------------

I loved
you
but not enough
to quit
i loved you
enough to
tell you the truth
but your heart
couldn't forgive
if this is
what you wanted
God
show me
what i need
to do to make
life
worth living
again

NEW NEW NEW!!!

I have a blog. i am gunna do stuff with it! expect awesome stuff to happen! this is a bad start/dumb entry.